The Cycle that is Pro Wrestling

Okay, let’s face facts. Pro Wrestling goes in cycles. Some may say you need more than one example to prove this fact, but I don’t agree.  We’re witnessing the beginning of Stage 1 for the second time. What is Stage 1? Targeting children. In the 90s, we saw this with Hulk Hogan. There were endless amounts of merchandise made to appeal to children: WWF trash cans, WWF bed spreads featuring the Legion of Doom, commercials advertising the newest action figures, Hulk Hogan exercise equipment, etc. There were gimmicks — characters that wore bright and elaborate costumes.

The kids then became teenagers and these products needed to mature with them. Stage 2. A more cutting edge product. Welcome the nWo, D-Generation X, women in bikinis and a more violent, aggressive wrestling style –  raunchy, sexy, in your face. 

The teenagers become young adults and grow out of the product. Stage 3. They stop watching wrestling. The WWE tries to figure out why attendence is low and why ratings are down. I call this ‘the limbo period.’ The most recent ‘limbo period’ occurred between 2000 – 2007. As future Stage 3s approach, they’ll be quicker to realize the problem and revert back to Stage 1. 

This brings me to John Cena. Someone recently asked if John Cena was the next Hulk Hogan.  Overwhelmingly yes. That isn’t to say Cena is in Hogan’s league — yet — but he very well could be. 

Hogan ushered in a new era of pro wrestling in the 90s.  Hogan was all about the children, and in return, the kids made him who he is. Kids didn’t make The Rock. Kids didn’t make Stone Cold. But kids will make John Cena. 

The ridiculous Cena merchandise they have now will seem like, well, child’s play compared to the plethora of junk they’re about to unload on us. Forget about Cena wrist pads, baseball caps, or necklaces. We’re going to see fitness DVDs marketed directly towards kids, we’re going to see Cena ice cream, Cena potato chips, and Cena cereal. Think I’m kidding? They have already created Cena pillowcases…

In the not to distant future, John Cena will have a Saturday morning cartoon. He will have a TV show — a modern day Thunder in Paradise perhaps? Cena will star in the remake of Mr. Nanny and Santa with Muscles… straight to DVD of course. 

Children will flock to Cena the likes of which we’ve only seen once before… with Hogan. And when the kids grow up and find Cena to be too childish, he’ll turn. He’ll turn and usher in a new era for the business. Stage 2. A more adult, more mature, more cutting edge program. He’ll assemble a stable with some of his buddies and run roughshod over… TNA. 

The WWE will be forced to do something to mimic the success Cena is having in TNA, but nothing will compare with his nWo-esque stable. Many years down the road, TNA will fail and collapse. Cena will sit on his laurels for many years due to good money management.

And then, one day, a few of the children who grew up idolizing Cena will face their destiny. A main event match at Wrestlemania 47. They’ll say how they grew up watching Cena. 

Ratings will begin to slip and the WWE will enter that limbo period — Stage 3. They’ll wonder what they can do to boost ratings. And they’ll call upon a middle aged John Cena who will make a huge comeback. The fans who long since outgrew him will tune in to see their childhood hero. And with that, the limbo period might actually become a stage in the cycle. But It won’t be as successful as they hoped. And the fans will stop watching ultimately realizing that wrestling is for kids.

Stephanie and Shane McMahon will say, “Well, we’ve lost our target demographic. It’s time to dust off that old fail safe. Stage 1: Target the Kids.”

They’ll pluck another guy out of obscurity and maybe his name will be Ken Williams. They’ll target him to kids and thus, the cycle begins again. And wrestling fans will ask, “Is Ken Williams the next John Cena?”

And if there are any wrestling historians out there, they’ll say, “The real question is… is Ken Williams the next Hulk Hogan?”